When we think of back-to-school it is typically in September and can be a time of excitement and some degree of anxiety. Younger children may be nervous about leaving their parents, and older children may worry about their grades or their peer interactions.
This year is different than all others as COVID-19 has brought so many uncertainties. Children may worry about getting or spreading COVID-19 at school, family members getting sick, social distancing rules, wearing a mask all day at school, reentering social situations after being quarantined and isolated for a long time, developing new routines, getting up earlier and having a longer day are just to name a few. In addition, many normal routines at school will change due to safety protocols to prevent the spread of COVID-19. The uncertainty of the situation and changes in routine can cause many students – and parents – to feel stressed and anxious. Typically, things we can control makes us feel safe because they are predictable, while things that fall out of our control can lead to feelings of anxiety because they are unpredictable.
Signs of stress and anxiety in children:
Children may show their anxiety in different ways. It is important to note if there is a change in your child's behavior or mood, such as:
Sadness or crying
Loss of appetite
Changes in sleep patterns
Lack of concentration
Less energy
Changes in eating patterns
Physical symptoms like nausea, muscle tension or dizziness
Increased defiance or irritability
Refusal to go to school
Constantly worrying or having negative thoughts.
Feeling tense and fidgety, or using the toilet often.
If your child is experiencing anxiety, it is important to discuss their feelings and have open and honest conversations. Sometime parents want to avoid discussing scary topics however avoiding important discussions can actually lead to more persistent feelings of anxiety in children. When discussing returning to school, stay as factual as you can and base the conversation on their age and maturity level.
Some younger children may have separation anxiety as they have spent a tremendous amount time at home with their families due to the pandemic. Older children may feel unsure about how changes might affect their social connections or feel frustrated by perceived limitations on their freedom.
Some techniques for supporting your child during this time:
Check in with your child frequently and listen to their concerns. Put devices away, so you can provide undivided attention. Make sure to validate their emotions, letting them know that their concerns and frustrations are understandable. Then, try validating your child’s emotion by making a caring statement that reflects what they just said, such as: “I can understand why you feel worried about returning to school, especially when there are so many changes happening because of COVID-19.” Identifying reasons why your child might be feeling worried or anxious will make them feel more understood.
Acknowledge that some things are out of their control and it helps to focus on what we can control during the pandemic such as wearing a mask, hand washing and social distancing.
It is important to talk about the stress and anxiety but its also important to focus on the positives and things to be excited about. Children are likely to be excited to see friends, peers or teachers in person and enjoy having routine and structure.
Help your child create a daily routine, beginning with consistent times for meals, waking up and going to bed to ensure they are getting enough sleep. Create times that they are physically active and times that they can relax. Encourage your child to do more of what they enjoy such as reading, arts and crafts, music, dancing, playing outside, games and other activities.
While the reentry plans continue to change, explain to your child the information that you know to help prepare them. For instance, your classroom will have less students in class and you may see some of your peers on the computer while you are at school.
Continue to spend time with your child before and or after school. Engage in planned, shared activities like making breakfast, reading together or going to the park, playing games etc...
Model Calm behavior: Children can tell when their parents are stressed and anxious. Talk to your child about your own feelings and explain the ways that you cope with your anxiety. Modeling healthy behaviors and coping skills is one of the best ways you can support your child during this time.
Set up ways for your child to continue to socialize safely with their friends over the phone or video, playing outside…..
Teach your child breathing exercises when they feel anxious,
Send positive or encouraging notes in your child's backpack.
While this year’s transition back to school is different, we can help children feel optimistic by listening to and validating their worries, teaching them coping strategies, reviewing safety protocols, and supporting them when they find things difficult. Ultimately, our kids need us to lead the way for a successful back-to-school transition and to develop the lifelong skills they need for navigating challenges.
If your child is prone to anxiety and continues to have difficulty coping, do not hesitate to seek professional help and support.
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